The Best Secret Santa Ideas For Your Office

 What are the best gift ideas for secret Santa in the office? After all, there are so many criteria depending on which office member you are given. 

Is it an opportunity for laughs? Perhaps an olive branch to your office nemesis, or the opposite. Or perhaps some subtle Christmas sycophancy may be just the thing that puts you at the top of the promotion pile? 

What is a good secret Santa gift? Morse Toad has trawled the world-wide-web looking for the best secret Santa ideas so that you don’t have to. Our selection will meet at least one of the following criteria:

  • Funny pushing inappropriate. 
  • Inexpensive. 
  • Either instantly gratifying or of some longer term use (ie. not immediately disposable).
  • Something that gets the job done, but doesn’t draw attention.
  • Something that draws maximum attention (especially if they have to take it home)

1. Secret Santa Ideas For Men

  • secret santa gift ideaCup and ball
 - £9.95

Anyone who understands the male of the species will know that you give them a ball or some sort of game, and you will have them immediately entertained, much like fetch for a dog. Add the phrase, ‘a tenner says you can’t get ten in a row’ and watch as every man within 50 metres is immediately occupied for the next few hours.

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  • secret santa for himA small plant
 but friendly plant - £8.00

A bit of greenery can have a positive benefit to our wellbeing, but most men don’t think to purchase something like this for work. We reckon they’ll thank you for it, although make sure it requires next to no upkeep, like a succulent.

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  • secret santa for hipstersBear baubles (secret Santa for hipsters) - £Unknown

If you’ve got a ‘hipster’ in the office who insists on having a nest on their face, then like every other bit of growth at Christmas, it must be decorated so it looks nice.

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  • funny secret santaPlop trumps - £5.99

Top trumps! That classic game of old, reinvented with a topic that we all want to talk about. This is a funny secret Santa idea that will keep everyone’s mental age at a suitably low level.

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  • secret santa giftWild beast wall light - £39.99

Ok so this is a bit beyond the normal secret Santa price range, but if you all club together you could get it for the boss.

We want a Toad one badly (doesn’t exist yet)

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  • great secret santa giftGrip strip - £6.99

Everyone needs one of these. Ever tempted to look down at your phone while driving. Don’t do it. Stick your phone to the dashboard with one of these.

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  • rollie egg cool secret santaRollie egg cooker - £10.99

We want one of these so much. It’s a bit steep as an affordable secret Santa gift idea, but still, if you want a promotion and your boss is your secret Santa, get this. We’d make you CEO straight off the bat. The cost may be more. The one we bought was on offer.

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  • great secret santaTrump toilet paper - £from USA

Politics can seem too much sometimes. What’s the little guy supposed to do about it? We suggest you can make a stand in the simplest way possible.

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  • cool secret santa giftThe Quadcopter - £29.99

This is basically a secret Santa gift for men. Boys will always want to play with their toys. Why hold them back! (We are wondering if it can carry things?)

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  • secret santa gift for himDa Vinci catapult kit - £14.99

This is a seriously cool secret Santa gift. Make your own catapult, and lord it over everyone else as you’re effectively become DaVinci himself, only to regress to your more basic self when you realise what you can catapult at your fellow co-workers.

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2. Secret Santa Ideas For Women

  • secret santa for herA glass for coffee AND wine - £15.99

Practical secret Santa gifts don’t get much better than this. Getting through the day is only possible with mind altering legal substances like coffee and wine, so why this isn’t standard issue from the government we don’t know.

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  • secret santa for womenWonderland cotton tail - £6.99

How great is this? A cute bunny that also doubles up as your cotton wool supply. And within the £10 budget.

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  • secret santa for herTweexy - £14.95

Doing your nails was never so easy. Secret Santa for her with a maximum usefulness mark from us.

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  • secret santa for womenKit-A-Boo wall hook - £12.00

What is not to love about this? (crazy) Cat lover in the team? This secret Santa gift is for them.

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  • secret santa giftSpaghetti measurer - £6.99

What is the socially acceptable amount of spaghetti to make? This handy little tool solves exactly that issue. Obviously it's a horse every time, but still, now you know.

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  • secret santa liquerBlackcurrant liqueur Christmas tree - £20

Think champagne and prosecco are summer drinks? Think again!

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  • funny secret santa giftA swearing parrot - £6.99

Pretty Polly is a foulmouthed trollop that will make everyone blush. If you time it well, you can use her to insult everyone you want in the office you want, and then blame it on the parrot.

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  • secret santa for herA slanket - £24.99

Ok so you may have to forfeit style with this, but for a lifetime of cosy, who cares? Secret Santa for tv dinners, open fires and copious amounts of wine. You will be thanked heartily for this.

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3. Secret Santa For The Newbie

  • office secret santaA big blow up BOSS outfit - £Unknown

Ok so it’s a bit above budget, and we can’t find it in the UK, but still, you can’t put a price on aspiration. We’re positive that once the newbie has worn this for a hour or two, they’ll get a taste for what it’s like to be at the top, which will do wonders for his/her motivation.

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  •  funny secret santaNose aerobics - £Unknown

This secret Santa gift for your coworker will test your newbie’s abilities in the real world by giving him a proper challenge.

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  • great secret santa ideaT-shirt folder - £14.99

The newbie has got to look his best if he’s going to make it in the world. Be a good coworker and help him with his folding.

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4. Secret Santa Ideas For The Boss

  • funny secret santa ideaA naughty screwdriver - £4.99

Practical and perhaps a subtle nod to the boss for screwing everyone, everything, & anything? We meant that in a ‘hard-ass’ takes no BS way, but re-reading it, our description has other connotations. You can give it whichever way you think suits best.

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  • office secret santa ideaA USB fan & clock - £12.99

Being the boss can be stressful. Every now and again you might get hot and flustered, especially in summer. Hey Presto! The USB fan and clock. Everyone loves a gift that solves TWO problems!

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  • secret santa ideaA grow-your-own Venus fly-trap - £12.95

You want your boss to be, well, the boss. The company depends on it. If you feel your boss is somehow lacking in the killer instinct required, perhaps he/she could take some inspiration from this thoughtful flesh-eating plant.

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  • rude secret santaA stress sausage - £6.99

Somehow this makes sense, but we can’t put our finger on why…..! 

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  • secret santa ideaIsaac’s 3D Apple Puzzle - £5.99

Is your boss all that smart? There’s only one way to find out. Give him/her the all time impossible puzzle.

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5. Secret Santa Ideas From The Boss

  • secret santa for coworkerInflatable ‘whack your boss’ gift
 - £3.99

You may be a tyrant in the office, but as long as you acknowledge it then there’s a chance you may be forgiven. At the very least you are dissipating the built up aggression against you.

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  • office secret santa ideaThe Star Mug - £10

This mug changes to show the constellations in the night sky when you add hot  liquid.

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  • secret santa officeFreak Mask - £12.99

Ever wondered what its like to be the boss. Well now you can show them by giving them a mask of your face.

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6. Secret Santa Ideas For £10

  • secret santa idea funnyAn egg separator with a twist - £5.95

If you’re not separating your eggs then what are you doing? Either you don’t watch British Bake Off or you don’t you know that the yolk has 10x the calories? Well this little gem makes this important life task so much more entertaining.

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  • secret santa ideaCactus drier buddies - £7.99

Ok so we don’t really understand this. We were sold on the picture and the tenuous nature of the product. You have to admire someone’s imagination.APPARENTLY they help de-wrinkle and dry your clothes in the drier, as well fluffing them up for you. Who doesn’t want fluffing up? 

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  • good secret santa ideaA wooden iPad lap desk - £9.99

Let's face it, most of our gravitate towards our bed, a place that is great for sleeping and a few other things, but not great for work, movies and all that stuff we’re supposed to do all day. Enter the lap desk! Now you never need to leave.

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  • secret santa for himThe twisted cookbook - £9.99

Anyone who likes a short video in their Facebook feed NEEDS this book. It's basically what eating should be…mind blowing (not advised for anyone on a diet). Most recipes involve some form of cheese, chocolate or booze....and that gets a thumbs up from us.

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  • secret santa gift for herTasty popcorn - £4.99

Popcorn’s healthy, right? Err will never mind, this stuff is as close to drugs and you can get. All those years eating big cartons of the stuff at the movies like a mug...when you could have been eating this stuff instead.

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  • secret santa for herA cat bonnet - £8.99

Of all the ridiculous but brilliant secret Santa gift ideas we’ve found, this one tops the bill. A cat in a silly hat. You're essentially giving someone the opportunity to be internet famous via their cat, and that's a great gift in our book. They can give up work and spend their days making memes. 

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7. Inappropriate rude secret Santa gifts

  • rude secret santaA butt pen holder
 - £9.47

When you’re wondering what to get for secret Santa, there are some of us that feel inappropriate gifts are the only way forward. After all, you can’t put a price on making Judy in accounts blush a ripe crimson. This charming number is bang on at £9.99, and yet a lifetime of puerile entertainment.

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  • chocolate secret santaAfter dinner willy’s - £3.99

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without the whole team sitting around the table making small talk over some delicious chocolate willies. I mean, who doesn’t want a nibble on one of these? Not us. Definitely a good secret santa idea that will please the crowd!

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  • rude secret santaSantakini - £9.99

Is this a secret Santa gift idea for work? We wanted to put it in our ‘newbie’ list, but felt that there is probably a team member who actually wants to wear this. Either that or they’ve shown up to the Christmas party with one already on. You know the one! They’re obvious because they’ll take limelight whatever the circumstances, just to be the main attraction. This outfit is guaranteed to please….someone….somewhere!

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  • rude secret santaEdible something gross

Everything about this secret Santa idea is wrong. Although once you get past the initial shock and possible vomit, you’ll notice you can actually get a personal cast in bronze. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

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We could have chosen more inappropriate secret Santa gifts, but after the bronze cast bit, everything else falls short. 

Thanks for reading our list. Should you still be struggling for secret Santa gifts, we make the totally biased suggestion of sending them a chocolate card.

We've got straight forward Happy Christmas, or some other festive ideas, or of course the more silly and rude messages. 

rude secret santa gift

Feeling inspired? Create your own!

personalised chocolate card


Mr Toad (aka Dicky)

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